From a Doula's Son

This is from my December DONA 'International Doula' magazine...and it left me in tears:

From a Doula's Son
by Shayne Siermachesky

My mother is the matriarch of a family tree that is all boys and worries that her life's work will be lost on her sons. I am her eldest son and on the brink of manhood. My mother is a doula; a woman who deals in pain, bulging bellies, emotional extremes and the epiphany of new life. I am here to tell her that all hope is not lost - your boys have been listening and quietly learning for years. For all those other doulas out there who have only birthed males, I am also here to tell you that your sons have been listening and learning as well - you are educating a whole new generation of fathers.

To quote Penny Simkin, "Let me tell you about birth." (Yes, I have seen many a video and read many of her books, as it's hard not to; they're pretty much in every nook and cranny in the house!) Following my mother's quiet guidance and implementing my male perspective of birth, this is what I hold in my heart. I can hep create a child, but I cannot push it from my body. I can love a child; however, it will not grow under my heart, but in it. I can empathize, comfort and advocate for my future wife, but I will only be an observer in that momentous journey to becoming a parent. I can love my partner the ony way a man can love a woman, but I understand and trust the bond that only women share. I can feed, clothe and protect my child, but I will never know what it is like to nourish a child at my breast. Most importantly, I know that there will be no babies born in my family without the services of a doula.

Over the last dozen years I have also been given quite the education. I know that Friedman's Curve isn't on a highway somewhere. I know the seven cardinal movements are not in any way a sexual position. I get that birth is not and never was, a sporting event. I know what Ferguson's Reflex is, what a Montgomery Gland is for and what the MacRobert's Maneuver does. I know that you smile when I catch an episode of TLC's "A Baby Story" and yell at the TV, telling the woman lying in the bed to get up and squat. What I didn't know for years was that you were igniting a passion in me as you were feeding your own. You have taught me to follow my heart in whatever career gives me great joy and satisfaction - thank you.

Mom, while I will never be a doula, nor be as intimate with birth as you are on a daily basis, I have been listening and learning. You have taught us boys well. And yes, I will try to marry a midwife.

Shayne Siermachesky is the 17 year old son of Loree Siermachesky, CD(DONA). he lives in Medicine Hat, Alberta and hopes to havea future in health care when he graduates from high School in June 2010.

What does a doula do?

Each doula is unique in her own business and ideology of the birth process. And each client is also unique in her needs!

As your birth doula, I will work with you and your partner to discover what kind of birth you desire, and do everything I can to help you experience it. This includes writing a birth plan to reflect your wants and needs for your birth.

As your birth doula I will:

• Answer any phone calls or emails during your pregnancy
• Set up at least two prenatal visit with you and your partner (this can also include going to a doctor or midwife appointment with you)
• Remain on call for two weeks before and two weeks after your due date
• Provide a back-up doula in the event I am unable to attend your birth
• Help you labor at home
• Provide suggestions on positioning and movement
• Offer information on procedures and protocol for you to make an educated decision
• Stay throughout your labor, my shift does not end
• Provide support to your partner
• Stay until breastfeeding is established
• Follow up with a postpartum visit
• Write your birth story as a gift to you and your family
• Remain available for you to help with any questions after your baby arrives!

As your postpartum doula, I will also come up with ways to make the transition back into your home the smoothest possible.

As your postpartum doula I will:

• Offer ideas for baby soothing methods
• Show you baby massage techniques
• Provide information for baby care and breastfeeding support
• Help with baby laundry and organization
• Give you time to nap, eat a meal or shower!
• Play with older children, or help with the baby while you get some one-on-one time with your older children.
• Provide some companionship
• Answer any questions you have about postpartum topics such as: depression, milk storage, nursing, sleeping, scheduling, organization, cloth diapering, play groups and other local resources for new moms

2009 Fees and information

Birth services:

$450 -- Includes two prenatal visits, the birth, and one postpartum visit

A nonrefundable retainer ($225) is required for me to put your due date on my calendar. I request the rest of the payment at our last postpartum meeting (or a month before your due date).

I do work on a sliding scale, and can also offer a payment plan. I am very flexible, so please discuss payment with me!

Postpartum services:

$20/hour -- Initially, at least four hours need to be scheduled, with payment in advance. ***10% discount on postpartum services if I was your birth doula.